I have been through hell and back the last 7 years. I lost my mom due to a mental illness, my baby at 12 weeks pregnant and my husband to Cancer. I have under gone Countless trauma counseling and personal therapy. Then Covid-19 came and hit the world hard, it hit South Africa hard, it hit my family hard. Not really financially (and I thank God for that) but mentally and emotionally. We all became depressed, irritated and moody. This left my relationship with my fiancé broken. This was my downward spiral into major burn out over 7 years of not stopping to breathe and major depression. Oh, did I mention that I was also 4 months pregnant with our beautiful baby girl at the time.
I was NOT okay!
Lucky for me, I have THE best friends anyone could ask for. They recognized the downward spiral and got me the help I so desperately needed. And here started my journey to self discovery and self care, as they say “filling my cup”.
My therapist and friends kept telling me that my cup is empty and I must fill my cup so I can be the best version of myself and a more efficient mother. Self care they say. If I’m happy, then my whole household will be too. Great. That’s great. What a good idea! Let me take 1 day off a week. Just 5 hours to myself to fill my cup. That can’t be to hard………..
Now that I’ve taken this time for myself what the bloody hell do I do? What does it mean to fill my cup? What do I want to do? What do I like to do?
I was so consumed by work, parenting and playing wife and life itself that I lost myself. I didn’t even know what I liked to do anymore. What used to make me happy? Who the heck am I without my kids, husband and fiancé?
This, this is exactly what they are talking about. DO NOT get so consumed by life that you forget who YOU are, what YOU are and more importantly what you can accomplish when you are not running on fumes. Take time out to look after YOU. By doing this, you will be able to be that interactive mom, that go getter at work, that sexual wife, that gym bunny, anything that you set out to do. You will have so much more zest for life, more energy and more to give to those you love because you filled YOUR cup.
As for me……..
I love all 4 of my children and fiancé with everything I’ve got. But I have learnt that I need space from all of them to be able to give them my best. I have discovered that although I am a major girly girl, I LOVE to hike and be in the worldliness and try fill my cup with hiking. I have a new found passion for birth and to be a duolla and I will be going to WITS next year to pursue this goal, I now love meditation and make time to go on dates with my fiancé and I absolutely love to fill my cup by spending time with my besties WITHOUT the kids or husband’s. Yip, I said it, I have put it out there for everyone to see and hopefully not judge- just the girls.
So, if anyone out there feels the same and have no clue who they are and running on fumes. Know you are not alone and many feel this way. Now is the time to take 5 hours for yourself. To love yourself. It’s NOT selfish, it self care. And I cannot express how important this is.